The City Veins

Over the course of the past few weeks, Spencer, Charles, and I have blogged more consistently than we had previously at any point. Through this period of time, each has independently taken up a role or blog personality (blogonality? Yeah, that’s right). Spencer writes about the industry, Charles is sort of funny yet somewhat whiny, and I ramble. To counteract this development, I’m going to write a short, concise opinion piece on why we should remain a 3-piece band.

1) It’s easier to get shit done.

Democracies are great, right? Wrong. Fuck that bull-shit. I want an organization where things happen quickly, where people bully each other, and where stalemates are a numeric impossibility. I’d prefer a dictatorship—with me at the top—but there doesn’t seem to be much support for that. A four-piece band ended up with 2-on-2 arguments, overly diplomatic processes (my fault, mostly), and immobility on almost every issue. Adding people would return to that state of things.

2) Addition most often occurs by subtraction

Yes, that makes no sense. But it’s true that some of the great 3-piece bands have more sound and “balls” than 4 piece bands. Four piece bands manage to hide their mistakes by making more noise, but it’s not necessarily useful noise. With a 3 piece, every note has to have meaning and use because every note will be heard clearly. You have to be tight and play hard to make up for having fewer people, and this necessary energy is almost always positive.

3) Fewer people to pay.

$60 divided by four is $15. $60 divided by three is tens of dollars. I would rather make multiple tens of dollars than $15. It’s an economic decision. My fiscal responsibility to myself demands a 3 piece band.

4) My grandmother will give me stuff.

Bayes owned an X-Terra, in which we drove around all of our band stuff. We are now a “compact only” band, or a band that can fit all of our respective cars in a large handicap spot. This is not good for driving stuff around. If we remain a 3 piece, my 88 year old grandmother—who yesterday claimed to be 98—will give me her 1987 Mazda Pick-Up with no cab. It was the first year (and maybe the last) Mazda produced a pick-up, so you know it’s good. In other words, remaining a 3-piece will give me an excuse to take advantage of my grandmother’s senility.

There you go–Four concise arguments in no time at all. I hope you’ve enjoyed my readers-digest style blog. Maybe, because of its brevity, Spencer won’t have to have someone read it to him.

Photo by Flickr user dbking.